whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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