I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
