This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
