I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
that may or may not have been my penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
