we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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