Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
