But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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