Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
