Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
