Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
