Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
