I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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