Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
