im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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