he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we made out on top of his cat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
