my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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