That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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