remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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