dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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