WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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