So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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