My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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