we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
