6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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