I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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