I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
50% drunk capacity currently
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize