I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
