I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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