Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
