He is such a slut. More and more my type.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
