Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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