somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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