I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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