We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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