"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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