my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
