420 ftw
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
