I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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