Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
