hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
