He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
