i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm always down for nudity.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
