dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
