I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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