So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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