look no pants
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
