dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
