i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize