There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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