yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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