Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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