I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
