Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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