no, he came in my armpit
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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