what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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