It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
