I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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