so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
