my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
