i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
