She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize