Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
