she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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