I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
