I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
