Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we made out on top of his cat.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They took my balls.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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