Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
